Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
