so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
