Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
