I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
