id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I intend to get homeless drunk
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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