your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
