there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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