I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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