I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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