the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
