this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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