Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
