He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
