Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
