The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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