I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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