i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
