this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
