Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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