You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Randomize
