Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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