she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
