it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
