So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
