So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
