bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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