This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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