i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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