my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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