I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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