i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
