I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You can't just leave with hair like that
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
