I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
