I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
