I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
