We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
