We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The feeling are messing with the penis
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
