He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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