so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
and you said cock pushups were impossible
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
