Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
