the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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