The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
