when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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