problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Ketchup is God's man juice
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
