do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
