I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
