eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
