Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
