Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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