They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
